How to break your back and budget in 9 easy steps

In case anybody wonders how to collect a stack of receipts and find out how many pain pills and muscle relaxers one can take I have the blog for you!

1. First you remove sod and plant it neatly in the empty lot next to you in hopes of replacing the field of weeds with nice Bermuda grass.

2. Second you continue to remove several inches of worthless Oklahoma red clay and fill in the mosquito reservoir in the empty lot next door.

3. Third you have 5 tons of dirt dumped in the empty lot next door.



4. Fourth you haul 5 tons of dirt one wheel barrow at a time.



5. Fifth is a real treat where you start collecting credit card receipts and digging holes!



6. Sixth is where you decide steps 1, 2, and 4 are worth repeating and you create another garden that you orgianally weren't planning - transplanting the shrubs from the front yard to the back yard.



7. Seventh is where you redo the island peanut shaped garden for the third time because now it looks pathetic compared to the new masterpiece.

8. Eighth is where you empty 12 bags of black mulch making sure not to mix it with dirt, because black shows dirt really well.

9. Ninth is where you take before and after pictures and vow that we are done - forever!